Peace Okokon

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP? BREAK OR FIX IT.

Is there a special time of the year to move on? Do you wait for a specific period in your life to say I’m done?
Trust me, there is no better time to start all over again than at the beginning of a new year like this, it’s always better to start all over, through forgiveness or by letting go.

Forgive your spouse and start all over again in building a better relationship, or move on and find peace elsewhere.

It is important to fix or break any relationship that is causing you pain as a result of any of the Following:
Lack of communication.
Disloyalty.
Dishonesty.
Disrespect.
Dependence.
Excessive jealousy.
Manipulation.
Criticism.
Cheating.
Isolation.
All of the above mentioned words are signs of unhealthy relationships these kind of relationships are usually harmful or dreadful.

You should remember and always say to yourself that you deserve the best. This should always be a guide for you, Never say to yourself that you have a bad fate, cursed or being punished for the sin of your parents or for your bad deeds in your previous life as believed by some tribes and ethnic groups.

A relationship should be healthy. Yes! You have to tolerate some things from your partner, As we all have our flaws, But once it involves excessive physical, mental and emotional drainage and Abuse.

You should fix or break out of such relationship, as staying in that relationship will only make you lose your self. In my previous post I talked about Divorce over violence, there are situations you find yourself in a relationship that the only way out is letting go.

Read Divorce over Violence here

https://peace7.home.blog/2018/10/26/divorce-over-domestic-violence/

But it is also of great importance that you understand that there are situations that the only way out is letting go through forgiveness, one of the major things that has broken relationships and marriages is the absence of forgiveness. The Yesterday is gone: It’s a new dawn. It’s better to forgive and be happy.

See reference, As It will help you understand the need for forgiveness in any form of relationship.

In case you don’t know how to resolve the conflict between you and your partner, You may also want to read this 7 keys to conflict resolution https://peace7.home.blog/2018/10/18/7-keys-to-conflict-resolution-in-relationship/

So in conclusion, I advise you work on your relationship, if it’s suffering from any form of unhealthiness and if it’s not something that can be fixed just let it go”move on”.
You deserve the best. Cheers

Photo credit: pixabay

MY 2018 LIFE AS A NEW BLOGGER

It’s time to do some real business blogging, It took me four whole months to understand blogging, wink still learning.

This is me just typing down whatever I’m thinking about, I am not following any rules of engagement, I am just typing down my thoughts.
I have been blogging for the love of blogging, I enjoy penning down whatever is going on in my head and this has led me to blogging.
But I must say blogging is a lot more difficult than it seems.

I am still struggling and trying to find my way around, as one needs to learn a lot. Learning to type correctly and avoiding typo errors, from niche issue to what is not ok to blog about, how it works and reading too many guidelines and getting confused and also trying to do everything you read. Sometimes you don’t even know what and who to follow anymore.

But one thing I have learnt over the months is that I can only be me, I must keep writing until I learn and know it all.
I like the fact that I have my own space on the internet where I can write down my thoughts, and sometimes even express myself through writing without being too careful, but 2018 is past.Now I want to do what I enjoy doing and also earn a living through it.
What could be greater than these?
It’s going to be like enjoying yourself and making money.
These feelings have made me realize why my husband is so passionate and happy with his job, It actually does feel good to do what you enjoy doing and make money at the same time. I think I’m not the only one who loves to get some money, especially when you are making it through a means that you totally enjoy.
So 2019 is for monetizing and advanced blogging. Feels and sounds good right? I know.
So see you in 2019 and all the best.

THE NEED FOR A TO DO LIST IN 2019/MY APPRECIATION

Dear reader,
By God’s grace we’re all about to enter a new year.
I, sincerely, want to use this opportunity to appreciate you all. It’s one thing to write, but another thing altogether for someone to stop by and read what you have written down. Thanks for all your time.
2018 was, indeed, a wonderful year for me and my family, it ends with praise. How was your 2018?
I know there were ups and downs, there were things you wanted to do that you never had a chance to, you had dreams that never came to pass.
At the beginning of the year you made a lot of new year resolutions, but just before the end of the first quarter of the year, you went back on them.
I consider new year resolutions a futile exercise as over 98% of such resolutions made are not accomplished,. Why not try something different this time.

A TO-DO LIST!

A few years ago, I got in the habit of making *A To-Do List* for every year and I realized that I accomplished them all every given year with the help of God, but towards the end of 2017 I couldn’t think of anything to pin down as I was busy with my newborn.
So I had no plan for the new year, I was just doing things whichever way I saw it and guess what? Things didn’t turn out well enough as I would have wished and as such, I don’t really have anything to show for the year 2018, then I realize how important planning and “penning” down such plans have been.
Having learnt from my mistake, I would encourage you to have a plan for the New year. What are your plans, I hope you have jotted them down somewhere?

It is always better to have a *To-Do List* It will help you a great deal. Have you planned on the business to do if you don’t already have any doing at the moment? Have you thought of ways to enhance and make the one you have more lucrative? Please don’t allow the things that caused you pain in 2018 also cause you pain in 2019.

This new year should be your year.
You should even develop the habit of making out monthly plans that way you can plan your time and resources better. Yours truly has drafted out my plans and what I intend to achieve in the new year, I hope you’ll do the same.
My sincere appreciation goes to Mrs Sandra Fredrick who inspired me to write, Thank you.
I wish you all the very best. Do have a very happy and prosperous new year
Love you loads
Yours truly,
Peace Efanga Okokon.

THE NARROW WAY TO SUCCESS

The way to success is narrow. It is indeed difficult to scale through, full of obstacles, but reachable, possibility, Courage and Determination is key to success.

Usually, some factors and or thoughts militate against the achievement of one’s goals and even taking steps that could lead to such achievements as a result of “fear of uncertainty” which holds you down, giving you reasons using the “what if” mantra so you can’t move on.
In different faces of life, this fear and questions have successfully held you down.

It has stopped you from leaving that abusive marriage killing you because you have questions such as “what if i don’t get another man?”, “will i spend the rest of my life alone?”, “what will the society say to me?”, “how will i manage to pay bills?”, “won’t my family be shamed for my sake?”.

That fear has also stopped you from accepting yourself, you are no longer living your life and doing the things you love, knowing fully well that they make you happier with life, as others do not appreciate your opinion towards life, you have been living the way others live so that you can be loved and accepted.

This fear has stopped you from even doing that Business that you really wanted to do, but the fear of loosing and not becoming successful won’t let you find your way, what if i don’t become successful and i have already left my job, how will i survive?.

You have been doing a lot of things the way society, friends and family like it or want you to.
It is time to do things your way and success is sure!.

It’s ok to fail, its ok if you try and don’t succeed, at least you would have tried, you didn’t get married again but you are alive and have found peace and happiness.

you left your paid job and tried to do your own thing, but things did not work out as expected, its ok, you can try again or try something else, the peace you enjoy being your own boss is priceless.

You must care less, if you failed, do it again and again until you get it right. Don’t let anyone talk you down, because if you can think it you can see it,. Remove the word “impossible” from your dictionary.

Pass through that road and whatever that comes your way kill it! Crush it! And if you couldn’t make it the first time, go back prepare better and conquer!
Then you will surely be successful, happy, and most of all peaceful.

Don’t be afraid to take that risk, it is better to try and fail than live your life to regret that you never tried.

Only the fearless and risk takers are successful !!

Merry Christmas

It’s Christmas day and everyone is happy and feeling great as they are filled with joy in their hearts

Even in the midst of celebration, I want you to all to remember and keep in mind that there are still a lot of people feeling very sad and are pained even in this season of merriment.

They have not had a thing to eat even though it’s a season where people usually have more than enough to share.

Be kind and generous in the season, remember the poor and needy, remember the homeless,.

And hey merry Christmas and happy new year in advance.

Fashion Tips For Women

1 .Always prepare what you will be wearing tomorrow at night that way your morning will be easier and you can have a perfect combination

2.master how to do a half tuck, that way you can look simple but

3. Buy a bra that fits you perfectly, and always choose the bra that suits the dress type that you will be wearing.

4.hang your cloths in the bathing room while you get a hot shower to remove the wrinkles .

5.Knot(tie) Your shirt in front at Thema waist to keep the silhouette and length perfect all day long.

6. Go monochromatic by dressing head to toe on the same color.

SEARCHING WHERE IT CANNOT BE FOUND

Why do you always search for answers were you can’t find? Why do you search for peace in the midst of mystery and pain? Why do you search for love where there is none only to find deceit, hurt and trouble?

Looking around me, I found out that most people seek what they don’t really need or are seeking what they really need in the wrong place or from the wrong persons.

When was the last time you asked yourself what you really want or what are you looking for? Where does your happiness truely lie? Should you continue on the pat you are treading or is it time to take a break or a bow?.

How do you find happiness or love in a place where it doesn’t exist? Do you ever wonder why you don’t get results in some things you do after putting in so much efforts and energy and sometimes even finance.

It all comes back crumbling at your feet and all you could do is cry and complain, don’t you think its time you changed your approach, you take a break and try to figure out what you are not doing right.

Then asked yourself questions like:

What am I getting wrong.?

Should i take a break or a bow.?

Do i change my approach?

Is this project or person what the while?

Am i sure to smile at the long run?

If you can’t find a good answer to your question the best thing to do is STOP.

Take some steps back, then you can and may find the answers you seek.

But remember that it is of great importact that you seek , search or invest in the right place.

Searching where it cannot be found is just like getting drunk just to forget your troubles at

Searching where it cannot be found is just like getting drunk just to forget your troubles at night, neverminding that you will surely wake up sober and still face reality at dawn., neverminding that you will surely wake up sober and still face reality at dawn.

This happens in almost every part of our life as humans

From loving the wrong person and expecting to be loved the same way and wishing for a love that never existed in the first place to choosing the wrong life pertner to investing in the wrong Business and expecting too much from people , you keep searching for things that you will never find , because you are on the wrong track and you’re searching for them in the wrong places and in the wrong person .

People don’t give or rather can’t teach you what they don’t have or know. You can’t teach a language you don’t understand.

I hope this article help redirects your search, i hope you found the right direction and the right persons , so that you can find that which you seek.

THE AFTER MARRIAGE LOOK: HERE’S WHY WOMEN LOOK DIFFERENT

The after marriage look

Have you ever seen an old female friend after some years of marriage and wonder what exactly happened to her that made her change so much?

The men become fresher and add up some good flesh or remain the same as they were before marriage, while the women mostly look older, fatter or more skinny .

This has become a regular phenomenon, people are always asking why this is so?

I researched into this and brought you the following as some of the reasons responsible for it:

CHILDBIRTH (they become fat)

Childbirth just as it is on the top list it plays 70% role in the change in women after marriage and childbirth, some women do not lose the adipose tissue gained during pregnancy for whatever reason, and they tend to eat more during breast feeding and all of this accumulated fat dont go away in some women, unless they control what they eat, and exercise adequately to burn it off.

IGNORANCE (WHO AM I DOING IT FOR? ATTITUDE)

Who am I doing all this for? has turned to many women’s slang,they stop caring for themselves, they no longer see the need to keep doing the things they use to do as Single girls, they no longer make their hair, wear nice makeup, dress up sexy in well-fitting dresses, when they are asked why the dont take care of themselves they give you the answer “Who am I doing it for?” they feel they are married and therefore, have no need to do all of that anymore. But on the contrary a woman should dress even more after marriage in other to remain as sexy and attractive as she used to be before marriage, not withstanding wether your body size or look has changed as a result of childbirth.

EMOTIONAL PRESSURE PHYSICAL ABUSES (they become skinny)

The level of stress that women are faced with after marriage, have great effect on them. Most men trouble their wives so much that the women have become emotionally drained and when you see them, you can tell just by looking at them, how can they remember to dress themselves up properly, let alone remember to make their hair and all that? The emotional stress comes in different forms and varies from the worries they face at night when the men go out and don’t remember to come back home until midnight, to physical abuses of all kind inclusive of domestic violence.

Its important to keep yourself healthy and in good shape before or after marriage.

Stay happy, look good, stay healthy.

Images maybe subject to copyright

TAKING A BREAK FROM FINDING HAPPINESS

Time and again, I hear people talk about happiness in various facets of life and endeavors, this recently, got me thinking, I wondered why people place so much emphasis on being happy. Everyone is researching into, writing and talking about, what makes one happy, how to be happy, how to find happiness and the list goes on, But I realized that virtually no one is talking about Sadness, Pains, Sorrows, Hurts, etc. and these too are part of our lives, we tend to seek happiness, joy and the good life but one may wish to ask “how can we seek for happiness if we had no sadness?”, “how can we search for joy if there were no pains?”.

I think it’s high time we took a break from our search for happiness to start looking out for those things that sadden, pain and make our lives difficult, be they in our relationships, marriages, carrers or in life generally, as fixing those will result in a better quality of life for us all.

It’s of great importance to come to terms with what exactly has been causing you those pains

Then know how to tackle it, you can’t find true peace of mind or happiness, without knowing or having proper understanding of why you get hurt.

find the reason for your pains for pains and sadness are necessary evils. We cant avoid or live our lives without having to face or experience them at some point.

It is also important to always remember that sadness or pains are just a phase. They come and go, sad as it is, it’s part of our lives, so today i want you to take a break from finding HAPPINESS and rather focus your search on what exactly has been responsible for your pains, sorrows and sadness.

Then you can start searching for a way out.

P. S:

I have been away for a week, planning for and celebrating my son’s first birthday and that brought tears and laughther to my face, the fact that my little boy is one already gave me so much joy and the thought of the pains i went through carrying him for 10months brought tears to my face and all i could say is thanks to God,

I have missed writing for a whole week, and i got few mails from some readers trying to find out why i have not written for those days, thanks for your care I appreciate, love you loads.

I WON’T MARRY HIM, UNLESS HIS MUM IS DEAD!

As sad as it is, it has become a trend amongst young and unmarried women.
For various reasons they do not want to marry a man whose mother is still alive.
I made some enquiries into this and was able to gather some of the reasons as the following:
Most mothers-in-law always interfere with their sons’ marriages.

They often tend to get envious of their daughters-in-law
They mostly create rife between their sons and their daughters-in-law
They blame their daughters-in-law for whatever happens to their sons.
When they have a need and their sons refuse to attend to it they blame and insist that the daughter-in-law is responsible for that refusal from their son.
These are just few among many reasons given for this unwholesome trend.

However, the question is who is a mother-in-law?

This is my own definition of a mother-in-law:
She was that little baby girl born into a family, she became someone’s daughter and sister, she later became someone’s girlfriend, then fiancée and then wife and thus daugther-in-law, and finally mother-in-law.
What my definition is saying is that every girl, lady or woman is a potential mother-in-law.
Witnessing a son’s wedding is one of the Happiest days of any mother’s life, some mothers don’t even feel as much joy as they felt during their own wedding.
You want to witness your own son’s wedding and wish that woman who gave birth to the man you want to spend rest of your life with should not witness her own son’s wedding? The painful part of this is that you are not just wishing her not to withness her son’s wedding, you are wishing that a mother don’t get to meet her grand children. Sometimes I assume that ladies who have this wish don’t really understand the gravity of what they are actually wishing for a fellow woman.
Have you ever imagined a girl that your brother brought home in the hope of marrying, refusing to marry him because your mum is alive? How would you deal with such when you get to hear of it?

yes its no doubt that there are lots of women out there who have made and are making the life of their daughters-in-law unbearable.

But instead of looking at the bad ones, why not pray or hope for the best, you could also be amongst those whom may be blessed with the best of mothers-in-law, take religion away, humanity has never taught nor encouraged us as humans to wish another untimely death.
If not for anything, for the fact that you are a woman, you would love to be blessed with a son, and you will also want to be there at your son’s wedding,and will also love to see your grand children and hopefully your great grand children, these should be enough reasons for you not wish any one death, for your own happiness.

A woman carries her son for Nine months in pains, goes through labour pain, suffers to see the child grow and become something good, and just at the time when she should start reaping the fruits of her labour you then want her dead just so you can marry that son? You should think again.

The place of a mother is differnt from the place of a wife, be careful what you wish for someone, it can come back to you.