TAKING A BREAK FROM FINDING HAPPINESS

Time and again, I hear people talk about happiness in various facets of life and endeavors, this recently, got me thinking, I wondered why people place so much emphasis on being happy. Everyone is researching into, writing and talking about, what makes one happy, how to be happy, how to find happiness and the list goes on, But I realized that virtually no one is talking about Sadness, Pains, Sorrows, Hurts, etc. and these too are part of our lives, we tend to seek happiness, joy and the good life but one may wish to ask “how can we seek for happiness if we had no sadness?”, “how can we search for joy if there were no pains?”.

I think it’s high time we took a break from our search for happiness to start looking out for those things that sadden, pain and make our lives difficult, be they in our relationships, marriages, carrers or in life generally, as fixing those will result in a better quality of life for us all.

It’s of great importance to come to terms with what exactly has been causing you those pains

Then know how to tackle it, you can’t find true peace of mind or happiness, without knowing or having proper understanding of why you get hurt.

find the reason for your pains for pains and sadness are necessary evils. We cant avoid or live our lives without having to face or experience them at some point.

It is also important to always remember that sadness or pains are just a phase. They come and go, sad as it is, it’s part of our lives, so today i want you to take a break from finding HAPPINESS and rather focus your search on what exactly has been responsible for your pains, sorrows and sadness.

Then you can start searching for a way out.

P. S:

I have been away for a week, planning for and celebrating my son’s first birthday and that brought tears and laughther to my face, the fact that my little boy is one already gave me so much joy and the thought of the pains i went through carrying him for 10months brought tears to my face and all i could say is thanks to God,

I have missed writing for a whole week, and i got few mails from some readers trying to find out why i have not written for those days, thanks for your care I appreciate, love you loads.

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I WON’T MARRY HIM, UNLESS HIS MUM IS DEAD!

As sad as it is, it has become a trend amongst young and unmarried women.
For various reasons they do not want to marry a man whose mother is still alive.
I made some enquiries into this and was able to gather some of the reasons as the following:
Most mothers-in-law always interfere with their sons’ marriages.

  • They often tend to get envious of their daughters-in-law
  • They mostly create rife between their sons and their daughters-in-law
  • They blame their daughters-in-law for whatever happens to their sons.
  • When they have a need and their sons refuse to attend to it they blame and insist that the daughter-in-law is responsible for that refusal from their son.
  • These are just few among many reasons given for this unwholesome trend.

However, the question is who is a mother-in-law?

This is my own definition of a mother-in-law:
She was that little baby girl born into a family, she became someone’s daughter and sister, she later became someone’s girlfriend, then fiancée and then wife and thus daugther-in-law, and finally mother-in-law.
What my definition is saying is that every girl, lady or woman is a potential mother-in-law.
Witnessing a son’s wedding is one of the Happiest days of any mother’s life, some mothers don’t even feel as much joy as they felt during their own wedding.
You want to witness your own son’s wedding and wish that woman who gave birth to the man you want to spend rest of your life with should not witness her own son’s wedding? The painful part of this is that you are not just wishing her not to withness her son’s wedding, you are wishing that a mother don’t get to meet her grand children. Sometimes I assume that ladies who have this wish don’t really understand the gravity of what they are actually wishing for a fellow woman.
Have you ever imagined a girl that your brother brought home in the hope of marrying, refusing to marry him because your mum is alive? How would you deal with such when you get to hear of it?

yes its no doubt that there are lots of women out there who have made and are making the life of their daughters-in-law unbearable.

But instead of looking at the bad ones, why not pray or hope for the best, you could also be amongst those whom may be blessed with the best of mothers-in-law, take religion away, humanity has never taught nor encouraged us as humans to wish another untimely death.
If not for anything, for the fact that you are a woman, you would love to be blessed with a son, and you will also want to be there at your son’s wedding,and will also love to see your grand children and hopefully your great grand children, these should be enough reasons for you not wish any one death, for your own happiness.

A woman carries her son for Nine months in pains, goes through labour pain, suffers to see the child grow and become something good, and just at the time when she should start reaping the fruits of her labour you then want her dead just so you can marry that son? You should think again.

The place of a mother is differnt from the place of a wife, be careful what you wish for someone, it can come back to you.

WHY SHOULD YOU FORGIVE

Forgiving someone or even yourself can be very difficult.
Some people will often say I forgive you but I will never forget what you have done; while some others will say “Forgive and forget”.
Forgive and forget can be very difficult because whenever you are faced with similar situation you will certainly remember that you have been in that situation before. Things like Betrayal, Breach of trust, emotional hurts, etc will begin to play up.

The peace you feel after forgiving yourself or someone is priceless, do not trade it for pain and aches

It is pertinent that you understand the need for forgiveness and to ensure that you are also forgiven by the people you wronged.

Forgiving what we cannot forgive creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” –Lewis Smedes

Reasons and benefits forgiveness are enormous.

1. Because the Law of Karma will favor you, when you forgive a person of his or her wrong, Karma authomatically favors you when you also wrong people, but holding back means that you have taken judgement in your own hands and there will be no need for God or Karma to fight for you.

2. For your own peace of mind, whenever you hold on to a pain caused by anyone (including yourself) and refusing to forgive, it always leads to some level of distress, heaviness and distractions, whenever you see that person you feel this heavy wait,your heart beat changes,anger creeps in, etc. Why carry all of these weight, while the person doesn’t even feel a bit of the pain you feel, forgive the person and stay peaceful.

3. It is funny because people think that holding on to anger is what keeps our honor and dignity intact, when in reality, forgiveness is what helps us feel more honored and dignified in life. When you are able to forgive someone, you can look in the mirror and feel good about yourself. You see a powerful human is one who can look past faults and other people’s ugliness, that someone who can stay in control of life and how he/she acts on a day to day basis. That gives you a real sense of pride and confidence.

4. Forgiveness allows you to move on. When you are unable to let go, you definitely cannot move on. But whenever you forgive yourself or someone else,that means you have given the person or yourself a second chance and because you have given yourself another chance there are high Possibilities that what you have done wrong or the mistake you made will be corrected or done properly this second time.

5. happiness is sure,when you have all of this done by forgiving yourself and people who have betrayed and hurt you , happiness becomes yours automatically, and when you are happy you can fix things right, make right decision and even your friends, loved ones and colleagues will be happy too as happiness is infectious.

CONFUSED ON WHO TO MARRY? HERE ARE SOME TIPS

The Question of who to marry is an everyday question and its a very seriouse matter.
Pointing out or the ability to identify the person to marry can be very difficult , especially as it is a life time decision.

People marry for different reasons , some for love, money, companioship while others for the sake of comfort or even protection.
It’s quite important that you chose wisely who to marry as this decision can lift you or drown you.
In a previous article, I shared some reasons why you should not marry only on the basis of love.
You may want to read
There are cases where you even have two or more persons in your life and you really do not know who to spend the rest of your life with or if the person in your life at the time is the right person to spend a lifetime with
Today I will share some tips on how to identify the right person to marry , this article is focused on helping you choose make informed decision on your choice of life partner.

WHO SHOULD I MARRY?

YOUR FRIEND

marrying your friend is one of the best things that can happen to anyone,you will be free and able to play and express yourself.

THE BEAUTIFUL MIND
That man or woman who is BEAUTIFUL inside out with the inner beauty surpassing the outer. Remember that even the outer beauty is determined by the beholder as the saying goes. A person’s character is his or her inner beauty, a beautiful heart, a forgiving spirit etc, look more on the inward than the outward of the person before marrying for your own peace of mind.

YOUR SEX ICON
Sexual compatability is of great essence in marriage, your partner should be that man or woman you crave to have at all times and who has same speed with you as going into a marriage with someone that is on a different level of drive or libido with you can lead to several problems, especially infidelity.

“YOUR WEAKNESS”
There are people you just can’t stay angry with, no matter what they have done wrong to you, you somehow find a way to forgive them, you may call it love, but I’m careful with that, putting this into consideration will help alot , as marriage is not a bed of roses nor will it always be full of laughter

THE DISCIPLINED
That person who is brave enough to say “NO”, when it is necessary. You certainly don’t need a partner that will acquiesce to all of your demands at all times, nor one who cannot intervene wisely to stop you from taking a wrong decision.

YOUR SUPPORTER
We all need support systems in life. Every facet of life demands so much from each of us be it finacial or physical, emotional, etc. Your spouse should be your strenght when you are weak.

RESPECT
The one who respects and appreciates you for who you are.
The one who does not wish you were something or someone.

YOUR LOVER
The one that loves you uncondictional and puts your happiness first before work and friends
The one you love and can do anything for.

TRUST
That one who shares mutual trust with you.

YOUR FAMILY LOVER
The one that loves and appreciates your family, a partner that does not look down or feel his/her family is beter than yours is what you should look out for.

RELIGIOUS ACCEPTABILITY
The one that accepts your religion or religious difference and is willing to respect your beliefs and faith, without trying to change your faith or beliefs.

Two Nigerian guys roasted to death in mexico

2 nigerian guys had duped a Mexican to the tune of 400 thousand dollars, expecting another 1.2 million.

But Not knowing the man had discovered he had been duped, he managed to lure the fraudsters to come to Mexico to collect the remaining balance. See what happened to them.

Click to see video

Omotola Jalade cries out as she visited ghana

Omotola Jalade who visited Ghana for the AFRIMA event which took place over the weekend, has cried out over the worthlessness of naira to Ghana cedis.

According to Omotola Jalade, she ‘changed N10,000 (Ten thousand Naira) and it was only worth
C120 ( One hundred and twenty cedis)’. The actress further disclosed that Ghana is moving faster than Nigeria. She wrote;

Okay… So Economists , come and analyze oh… this Amongst other things was quite alarming on my trip to Ghana.
Hmm… I changed N10,000 (Ten thousand Naira) and it was only worth …..
C120 ( One hundred and twenty cedis)
Not C1,200 and certainly not 12,000 cedis but a mere 120 cedis!!!

1 dollar in ghana is 4.8 cedis !
#Ghanamustgo and they have Gone, are they moving faster than us?
I don’t want to talk about the airport , Tubaba has already talked about that but I forgot both my phones while signing the immigration cards, about 10mins later, it was announced to pick them up at guest services! Ha!
#GiantofAfrica ? #Getbusy #Getbusy#Getbusy 😓😓😓. Abi? I’m I missing something?

Heres her post

View this post on Instagram

Okay… So Economists , come and analyze oh… this Amongst other things was quite alarming on my trip to Ghana. Hmm… I changed N10,000 (Ten thousand Naira) and it was only worth ….. C120 ( One hundred and twenty cedis) Not C1,200 and certainly not 12,000 cedis but a mere 120 cedis!!! 1 dollar in ghana is 4.8 cedis ! #Ghanamustgo and they have Gone, are they moving faster than us? I don’t want to talk about the airport , Tubaba has already talked about that but I forgot both my phones while signing the immigration cards, about 10mins later, it was announced to pick them up at guest services! Ha! #GiantofAfrica ? #Getbusy #Getbusy #Getbusy 😓😓😓. Abi? I’m I missing something?

A post shared by Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde (@realomosexy) on

Banky W and Adesua celebrate 1st white wedding anniversary

The stunning couple took to social media to gush about their love for each other and reminisce on their love journey, with stunning throwback photos of their wedding.

Banky W wrote;

‘Some say the 1st year of marriage is supposed to be the hardest to get used to.. That adjustment into sharing your space/world with someone is supposed to be difficult.

Yet somehow, the past 365 days have been.. BY FAR.. the best year of my life. I’m so thankful that I found you. You were worth the wait. You are worth the effort. You are everything I hoped for, and much more than I deserve. Thank you for loving me and inspiring me. Thank you for being with me, and building with me.

My life is better because you’re in it. In a world where most people aren’t lucky enough to find someone they can tolerate, I found my destiny.

Happy Anniversary Shug. Forever’s gonna be fun. In Jesus Name, Amen. ����� #BAAD2017 #BAAD2018 #BAADFOREVER’

While Adesua wrote;

‘Still on cloud nine, �

Still the best man I know, �

Still basking in the goodness of the Lord, �‍

Still dancing with you,��

Still thirsty, �

Still can’t get enough of you, �

Still laughing like crazy, �

Still amazed that you’re mine,�

Still in awe of this love that I’ve never seen before, �

Still excited about the future.

Thank you for working with me, for your patience, for your kindness, for your selflessness and for your unconditional love.

When i think about how much you love me and care for me, it leaves me in awe of the kind of love God must have for me.

He loves every single person, so deeply and you bubba, are a reflection of that love.

Your light shines soooo bright.

My purpose partner.

I knew I made an amazing decision when I chose you. A year has gone by and only now, do I fully understand the magnitude of that decision.

A decision that has impacted my destiny

You are God’s perfect will for me.

Thank you for chasing away my fears and making our home my safe haven.

One down and I still can’t wait for forever.

Thank you for the most amazing year.

Happy anniversary bestfriend.

Life wouldn’t be life without you.

#BAADFOREVER