You will wonder if there is really need to get emotional, financial or physically ready before the divorce?

The answer is YES, You have to be ready in all senses, sometimes you may not be ready in all senses, but, the most important of them all is the emotional readiness.


like I said earlier, is the mother of them all, you have to be ready emotionally to face the world, To live your life on your own terms, to not allow what family and society would say affect you by any chance, You will agree with me that most times, the decision to get a divorce arises between couples, it is usually not because there is no love existing between them. Both or at least, one of the partners involved somehow, most of the time, still have strong feelings for the other partner, but due to the unhealthiness and constant struggle in the relationship, which has resulted to a lot of unhappiness. You resort to the decision to move on, as it seems to be the only way out at that point, So for you not to entrust your life to emotional trauma after divorce or during the procedures it’s best that you work on your emotions prior to deciding to divorce otherwise your feelings of loss will overwhelm you and you may find yourself worse after the divorce than you were before the divorce.


From my personal findings, I have found out that a lot of “women, especially” who stayed in an unhealthy, unhappy and abusive marriages or relationship, are there only because of the finance the partner provides, or because of the fear that if they leave the marriage handling bills, or picking up the bills for their children may become a huge issue as they are not used to taking financial responsibility, or do not have a paid job nor a business. If you find yourself in such situation, the first thing to do is to prepare yourself by first gaining financial freedom. By finding a job, starting or finding a way to raise capital for business, etc. You don’t want to get divorced and then start regretting why you left the marriage in the first place. Thoughts like, “instead of this suffering that I can’t even afford a proper meal, let alone wear good cloth, I should have stayed back and managed him like that. After all, I bore and tolerated him/her all these years. Just maybe he/she would have changed or repented of his ways”. You would say “he may be cheating or abusing me, but I at least feed well, wear good clothes and my children attend one of the best schools around”. These are reasons why you should be ready to work and pay your own bills, and be financially stable to an extent before making such decision unless for cases where physical or domestic violence and other forms of abuse is excessive.
You always have to remember that there is no key to happiness, the door is always open, you have a choice to walk in whenever it pleases you.


Do I also have to get physically ready before I get a divorce? You wonder. Yes! It is of great importance to get physically ready for whatever may come your way in the process or after the whole procedure. A lot of people think that getting divorce only affects one emotionally and financially. But, this is not true as it has a great physical and psychological effect on the individual. Research has shown that both men and women suffer serious physical effects of divorce, some of the physical and psychological effects, are weight gain or loss, difficulty concentrating, increase in tension, Depression, lack of sleep, Guilt, Nausea, Heart problems, other serious health problems, Bad communication, Insomnia and more.
It is advised that one should be ready in all of these areas before heading for divorce as it is better and safer.

Photo credit: pixabay


Dear reader,
By God’s grace we’re all about to enter a new year.
I, sincerely, want to use this opportunity to appreciate you all. It’s one thing to write, but another thing altogether for someone to stop by and read what you have written down. Thanks for all your time.
2018 was, indeed, a wonderful year for me and my family, it ends with praise. How was your 2018?
I know there were ups and downs, there were things you wanted to do that you never had a chance to, you had dreams that never came to pass.
At the beginning of the year you made a lot of new year resolutions, but just before the end of the first quarter of the year, you went back on them.
I consider new year resolutions a futile exercise as over 98% of such resolutions made are not accomplished,. Why not try something different this time.


A few years ago, I got in the habit of making *A To-Do List* for every year and I realized that I accomplished them all every given year with the help of God, but towards the end of 2017 I couldn’t think of anything to pin down as I was busy with my newborn.
So I had no plan for the new year, I was just doing things whichever way I saw it and guess what? Things didn’t turn out well enough as I would have wished and as such, I don’t really have anything to show for the year 2018, then I realize how important planning and “penning” down such plans have been.
Having learnt from my mistake, I would encourage you to have a plan for the New year. What are your plans, I hope you have jotted them down somewhere?

It is always better to have a *To-Do List* It will help you a great deal. Have you planned on the business to do if you don’t already have any doing at the moment? Have you thought of ways to enhance and make the one you have more lucrative? Please don’t allow the things that caused you pain in 2018 also cause you pain in 2019.

This new year should be your year.
You should even develop the habit of making out monthly plans that way you can plan your time and resources better. Yours truly has drafted out my plans and what I intend to achieve in the new year, I hope you’ll do the same.
My sincere appreciation goes to Mrs Sandra Fredrick who inspired me to write, Thank you.
I wish you all the very best. Do have a very happy and prosperous new year
Love you loads
Yours truly,
Peace Efanga Okokon.


The way to success is narrow. It is indeed difficult to scale through, full of obstacles, but reachable, possibility, Courage and Determination is key to success.

Usually, some factors and or thoughts militate against the achievement of one’s goals and even taking steps that could lead to such achievements as a result of “fear of uncertainty” which holds you down, giving you reasons using the “what if” mantra so you can’t move on.
In different faces of life, this fear and questions have successfully held you down.

It has stopped you from leaving that abusive marriage killing you because you have questions such as “what if i don’t get another man?”, “will i spend the rest of my life alone?”, “what will the society say to me?”, “how will i manage to pay bills?”, “won’t my family be shamed for my sake?”.

That fear has also stopped you from accepting yourself, you are no longer living your life and doing the things you love, knowing fully well that they make you happier with life, as others do not appreciate your opinion towards life, you have been living the way others live so that you can be loved and accepted.

This fear has stopped you from even doing that Business that you really wanted to do, but the fear of loosing and not becoming successful won’t let you find your way, what if i don’t become successful and i have already left my job, how will i survive?.

You have been doing a lot of things the way society, friends and family like it or want you to.
It is time to do things your way and success is sure!.

It’s ok to fail, its ok if you try and don’t succeed, at least you would have tried, you didn’t get married again but you are alive and have found peace and happiness.

you left your paid job and tried to do your own thing, but things did not work out as expected, its ok, you can try again or try something else, the peace you enjoy being your own boss is priceless.

You must care less, if you failed, do it again and again until you get it right. Don’t let anyone talk you down, because if you can think it you can see it,. Remove the word “impossible” from your dictionary.

Pass through that road and whatever that comes your way kill it! Crush it! And if you couldn’t make it the first time, go back prepare better and conquer!
Then you will surely be successful, happy, and most of all peaceful.

Don’t be afraid to take that risk, it is better to try and fail than live your life to regret that you never tried.

Only the fearless and risk takers are successful !!


Understanding the need to be financially independent before marriage .

finance play a very strong role in marriage, as a matter of fact the need for finance starts from the period of dating, you need finance to buy a gift for your partner, you need finance to around surprise party for birthday and anniversaries, you need money to have dinner in an expensive or beautiful restaurant.

when you take a step forward you will also need finance to arrange for wedding and there are no small weddings our there, there are usually many expenses.

It is of importance you understand that you can’t get married with the mind set that your family or anyone will help you feed your family as a man, or get married expecting that the man will shoulder all your financial needs, both parties involved in the relationship must be financially ready.

It is also necessary to check your income level, before engaging yourself into marriage. If it’s enough to Cather for your family, can you pay all bills without having to beg or borrow to sustain your family.

It is not advisable to get married while you are indebted as this can cause you a serious set back and would make things very difficult as marriage itself comes with lots of financial responsibilities,remember that debt is a liability.

Plan your life and your finance before you get married, couples that are faced with serious financial challenge are mostly sad and on affectionate and tends to have more rife, arguments and misunderstanding as a hungry man is an angry man.

If you are unable to cater for your self, how can you cater for a whole family let’s not bring the extended or new families that will become yours due to the new formed relationship.

Be sure to be ready and avoid regrets and unhappiness.

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Words are so powerful that they can create just anything. Imagine what effects positive words could have on your spouse and relationship

Everyman loves to hear their loved ones say pleasant things to them such as:

1. I love you

We all know what effect that statement could have on us as humans, then imagine how good it feels when its coming from someone you love deeply, no matter how tough or stone hearted a man is, that sound can melt his heart and awaken something in him.

2. You are my Hero

Saying this to your husband makes him feel really good about himself especially in a situation where he saved you from any form of trouble, saying this to him will encourage him not to hesitate to help you out should any other trouble come up in future.

3. I’m here for you

As much as a woman loves to have that assurance from her man, men love it much more. When a man is assured that even in times of trouble that you are there for him, he will do all he can to keep you by his side.

4. I trust you

Trusting a man is not just enough, you have got to let him know that you truly trust him ,this will encourage him to keep being faithful to you as he will not want anything to destroy that trust you have in him.

5. You are here, so I’m safe

When things seems not to be OK and he seems too worried about how you are feeling, just let him know that you are fine because he there with you and you know that when he is with you no harm can come to you, he’s going to feel really good knowing that you believe that much in him.

6. How are you

Every time you asked him how he is doing, it sends a signal that you care for him and want to know how he is doing and he will also start showing you same care, because it’s very common and normal for us to care for those who care for us.

7. You are looking good

Never neglect appreciating your man’s look, because it won’t just encourage him to always try and keep himself looking good, but will also help boost his confidence.

8. I want to do whatever you would want me do

Sometimes your man may feel you are tired or don’t want to do whatever he wanted you two to do at that moment, if you understand him well you can say this to him to encourage him, it could be sex, game or even to see a movie.

9. I appreciate you

We all loved to be appreciated, and we sincerely love people that are appreciative, always appreciate your man for everything no matter how little it is, or how little the time he sacrificed for you is, next time he would do more.

10. You are the best

when you tell him this, you are telling him that you don’t regret choosing him as your partner, you are happy being part of him, you are at the right place where you should have been and he will in turn do his best to keep it that way.

11. thank you

always say thank you, there is no limit to how much thanks you can give, say thank you for being part of me, thank you for loving me, thank you for your support, thank you for making me the queen of your castle, thank you for making me a mother. there are many things to be thankful for, doing this is a sign that you appreciate all that he is doing and he will surely do more just because you are appreciative.

you may also want to read what a woman wants to here https://peace7.home.blog/2018/11/11/what-a-woman-want-to-hear17-things-you-must-say-to-a-woman/

today start using these words as these could help improve your relationship, encourage your spouse, make them happy and even go as far as changing their view or how they feel about themselves and the the way they see you
and ultimately keep him smiling and loving you all the way.

What a woman want to hear:17 things you must say to a woman

Here are very simple but a must say to every woman:

It is very important to say nice things to your woman especially in the morning after a great sex. This strengthens her resolve to always satisfy you and make your life more pleasurable. That feeling that she made your night is invaluable to her.

In times of trouble or at trying moments, all she needs is her lover, when you say this to her you reassure her that she is not alone and that instills more courage in her to go the hog.

Just the sound of this will turn any lady on and make her anxiously wait for the night to come.

Nothing can encourage a woman as much as knowing that her man has made up his mind to stick with her no matter what.

this helps to improve how she sees you. It boosts her confidence. Remember every woman wants to be heard, and knowing that you are always available to hear her out means so much to her.

Women love to hear this often, especially when it is coming from the one they love, for a woman, once her man says she’s sexy whatever any other says is definitely of no import.

you may also like to read https://peace7.home.blog/2018/11/10/15-qualities-of-a-good-wife/

The feeling of being beautiful is mostly sparked by a loved one. A woman trends to smile and blush whenever they are so complimented by their man, this can spark up serious confidence in the relationship.

Tell me how I can be of help is everything, even when you can’t really be be of help, saying this to a woman makes her realize that you are willing to assist her and help her through all things.

This is very helpful, especially when trust is at the verge of being challenged or doubt is trying to creep into a relationship.

Women feel good knowing that you care about them. To such extent that you want to know how she is doing, if all is well with her. And for a woman, knowing that her well being is of importance to you encourages her and in turn makes her to care more for you too.

Say it, say it again ,say it at all times she likes to hear that, she is happy to know this, it increases her love for you.

When she’s afraid and and can’t move on, let her know that she must not give up because you got her.

If she feels that she is all you need ,she will never want to disappoint you, because she feels that you have high expectations from her, and knowing that you believe so much in her will make her work extra hard just to keep it that way.

Never Hesitate to let your woman know the things you love about her, this will encourage her to keep it up.

This is always a great way to appreciate your woman and also a way to encourage her to take care of a responsibilityvthat you have entrusted to her.

say thank you for everything, be appreciative, for giving you a good meal, sexual satisfaction, washing your clothes, taking care of your kids, even for loving and being there for you.

tell her this as many times as possible. She will be happy and try to be the very best at least not to disappoint you. It also improves her perception of herself and indeed of you.

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As a man, do you often wonder what those qualities are that a woman should possess before she can be said to be a good wife?
Every man wants a good wife and everywoman wants to be the best wife possible for her husband.

Bringing Proverbs 31 to the modern day reality, Here are some of the qualities that a good wife should possses:
1. She always listens and gives attention to her husband.

2. She never disrespects her husband especially, in the present of friends, family or their children.

3. She always makes out time for her husband no matter how tight her schedule is.

4. She never monitors nor polices her husband .

5. She feeds him with good home made food.

6. She doesn’t ignore his sexual needs.

7. She’s always ready to give him every form of support, inclusive of financial support.

8. She prays for him and wishes him well.

9. She stands up for him and defends him when the need arises.

10. She keeps the house clean and make sure that all chores are done.

11. She loves and takes care of her in-laws like she takes care of hers and accepts and sees her husband’s family as hers, without any discrimination.

12. She praises and appreciates her husband in public and in private.

13. She is honest and not deceitful.

14. She takes proper care of her self and keeps herself attractive at all times.

15. She accepts her husband’s flaw and encourages him to be better.

you may also want to read 15 qualities of a good husband. 👇https://peace7.home.blog/2018/11/09/15-qualities-of-a-good-husband/