Most cases men tends to wonder why the woman they got married to has change or seems not to be the woman they are living with.

There are three major factors that is responsible for these change:

1. The woman you dated or fell in love with.

2. The woman she truely is.

3. The woman you created.

Are you wondering how ???
Well these is how.

The woman you dated and fell in love with

* The woman you dated or fell in love with: usually there’s always a little to hold back while dating.

Sorry man but even your woman wouldn’t see all of you befor the big day, why? You don’t leave together, you pretend about some things and sometimes even lie about some stuffs

You want to portray yourself as ideal man for her,

So it is, with a lady too. So basically you don’t know her as much as you thought you did.

The woman she truly is.

Now you are facing reality,

No more holding back, no need to pretend about been so hygenic

She won’t smile when is sad anymore, she start expecting more,

When you are at home you behave differently from a guest

So you can gas, laugh out loud 📢,

Don’t think you know a person so much so until you leave with him or her for a good period of time!

At This stage you get to truly know her true self, character, way of life, and her level of hygiene.

The woman you created

This stage determines the future of your marriage.

You recreate your wife and these brings about positive and negative effect.

Position effect : A woman that is loved and cared for by her husband is always laughing and she tends to look young by the day,

I will give you a typical example from my personal experience

After I got married, I turn every offense into violence, I would say very rash words to my husband, nagging was the order of the day.

But then my husband would never insult or say a thing to me instead he allows me to express my anger, and then softly and nicely he would say with a smile on his face,

” sweetheart am sorry why don’t you rest for now and save the rest of your energy for tomorrow “


while am still trying to digest that he will stand up from where his sitting, and then when I raise my head up its a cup of tea what??

his reactions started recreating me without even realizing, I started thinking about my attitude towards offense, yes his wronged me but there are better ways to handle the situation without shouting, nagging, getting physical.

But then one very good day i sat and asked myself this peace are you ok? How can you always be the one shouting, fighting insulting?

Yet the reason for all of your shouting and yelling hasn’t changed, then why stress and fight who is not fighting you? From that day I stopped shouting, fighting, crying 😂 did I tell you that I would be crying while am insulting and fighting ..

And I started talking about issue and solving problems without having to fight or insult or create Unnecessary tension between us and trust me we are happier! Yelling back, insulting, hitting her or even bringing in third party will not bring about positive change, treat her the way you want to be treated, it may take time but change is sure.

Negative effect : two people are not alike, even identical twins are not of same opinion nor usually in most cases share the same view about life, marriage etc…

The two of you have come together as one, that dose not suddenly change the fact that you are a man and she’s a woman,


  • you are not of the same sex.
  • Your temperament may differ.
  • Your religious believe may differ.
  • Your level of education may differ.
  • Your level of civilization or exposure may differ.
  • The kind of families you came from is different from hers, therefore, your understanding and orientation about marriage and family is different.
  • The environment you grew up and your family status may differ.

Now if you put all of this together you will see the major reasons why the two of you don’t seems to agree on some issues, now its left for you to try and understand where she’s coming from, “like my husband would always say there are two sides to every story ”

By the time you use every chance you get to make her feel less human, indirectly she start growing tick skin.

You call her names in from of your friends.

You beat her up for standing up for herself or for making a mistake.

You cheat on her and flaunt it to her face.

Whenever something is happening with you or in your family she’s always the last to know.

Your siblings disrespect her and its ok!

You hide your money and your actual earnings from her.

You don’t give her a chance to air her mind or listen to her opinions about anything before you get engage.

You buy all your property in your name alone.

she never gets credit or reward for good job, not even a thank you but You criticize her without thinking at every mistake.

You sex starve her and she don’t have a right to complete

Before you realize it, you are presented a woman packaged, created and manufactured by yours truely.

And that is when see the worst of her although these can have different effect, pending on the woman involved that’s when you start hearing and saying stuffs like

  1. She is cheating on me
  2. She no longer allow me have sex with her
  3. She’s becoming very disrespectful
  4. She don’t allow my family to visit the house
  5. She spend must of her time outside the house
  6. She no longer keeps food for me
  7. She just committed suicide
  8. She wants a divorce
  9. She killed her husband sorry man you are responsible for what and who she has become treat your wife right be a happy!

Published by Peace Efanga Okokon

Hello, I am Peace Efanga Okokon, A wife and proud mum of two, Am a writer, A stylist and business woman. I studied cooperate economics and management, Welcome to my space, where I drop two articles on weekly bases, Tuesdays and Fridays precisely.

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